Dealing With Multiple Deaths

It has been some time since I last updated this site with an article. Actually, with anything!  As well, I noticed that I have not been comfortable in the last few months with posting much on Facebook, Linkedin, or tweeting anything out.  I have actually found it difficult to find words to post anywhere, so what’s up?

After thinking it through, it is not hard to see what is happening. Death. That’s right. Death.  In August my father died which left me with a quiet phone.  Until he died, I had not realized that I spoke with him many times during the week and even nightly.  He often just shared about what he was going through, was observing in the world, or listened to what I was experiencing.  It was fun.  Then it all stopped.  Since then I have been trying to settle all my mom’s matters as she adjusts to her new life in a memory care unit.  That was hard but there is more.

In October my mom’s brother died, then in November my father-in-law died and then in December my wife’s uncle died the same week as my dad’s brother-in-law died, which was on Christmas day.  That is a lot of death but it seems to be the norm now.  As a matter of fact, 1 in 3 people over 40 will experience the death of someone close this year and over 740 veterans die every day in the U.S.  Death touches everyone.

The web is full of articles and studies on death.  After looking at some of these, I think I must be the rare person.  When my son Owen died we got through it ok…at least that is how it seemed.  My family didn’t seem to go through the ‘normal’ grieving process…See 7 Steps.  Maybe my family is remarkable but while we were greatly saddened at Owen’s death we seemed to get through those first months and years much better than most that we hear about.  I have always felt that many people wanted to question me about this but did not feel comfortable asking.   I know that our faith in the Lord and His work in our lives was the rock that carried us through it.  We long to see Owen again but we never went through the tough days others seem to experience.  God prepared us and gave us a good understanding of life and of the hope we have in the work of Christ.

So why do these recent deaths seem to affect me so.  First, I miss these people.  Five deaths in a short time is no small number!  Second, there is a lot that I have to do to help my mom continue in life.  She has financial support issues, insurance issues, social security issues, heath issues, and the list goes on.  Thirdly, my wife is now helping her mom get through her initial transition.  That is quite a bit of concern. Finally, and I should have noted this above, my job changed.  Not only did it change but I was given much greater responsibility and supervision of others.  My new job consumes my day and it shocks me when five o’clock appears out of nowhere.  Lots of life change.

Well, there you have it.  No spin, no avoiding reality but the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away…and life goes on.  Now that I have identified the possible/probable stifling of my writing ability, maybe I can beginning writing again.  I look forward to it.  Always glad to hear from others who are also dealing with death(s) in their life and how they are moving along.  Remember that the Lord cares for you and that He never leaves you nor forsakes you.

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